North Avenue beach in Chicago is full of chiseled bodies and tan goddesses that eat hamburgers and still look like a Victoria Secret model.
I am pasty white with an acceptable body. I rarely cry over love handles and rock my bikini like I’m a Victoria’s Reality model. I’m completely fine with girls being hotter than me it’s when the girls display their dominance by excusing me in front of the mirror that I get straight up hulk.
When someone is at a mirror first you DO NOT inch your way until you take up the whole mirror. This also happened at the John Hancock observatory woman’s bathroom when a petite tan girl pushed my friend out of the way when we were in the process of taking a picture. She uttered, “sorry” but my friends she was not.
Rudeness wrapped in polite words is like wrapping fresh bacon over rotting meat.
Back to North Avenue Beach. I silently walk over to another mirror to work on my Snookie bump when another girl slips her way through. At this point I walk out.
I am not going to fight with you girls. If you want to be rude and act like you are better than me by all means go right ahead. Just know this: we all have the same fate. Your butt will sag, your tan will turn into leather skin, and no mirror in the world will reveal a younger you.
So keep excusing yourself and I’ll keep writing about you.