Because you don’t reply to simple texts.
Because you show no signs of life unless you are posting a picture on Instagram of you hugging a cardboard cutout of Bob Marley.
Because if I was standing at your door with a quartet singing you a song about how much I missed you, you would go back inside and eat a Banquet dinner.
Because you say a lot without doing much.
In conclusion you may think we are bossom buddies but in my mind you were the Steve Irwin poster that I threw out along with my pogs a long ass time ago.