I feel like I’m trapped in a never ending episode of a teen drama where I stand with books clutched to my chest as Hank Windermere passes me without realizing I am alive. Directly across from me is the class rebel that stands with his arms crossed and toothpick in his mouth. Cut to the next scene where I am sitting in the front seat of his rusty Lebaron asking him if he could roll the windows up because my hair is getting messed up. He doesn’t hear me and floors it as I turn my head to see Trisha Sands laughing at Hank while she runs her fingers through his hair.
I hope that paints a vivid enough picture for you.
I just want to graduate to an adult melodrama.
We have all read the stories about the so called zombies and I think if you believe it we can no longer have anymore conversations. For the CDC to have to intervene and say it’s not a zombie apocalypse you know that America is on it’s way to being the dumbest country that ever existed.
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)”, agency spokesman David Daigle told the Huffington Post on Friday.
Seriously? They really had to make a statement about it? The CDC made posters in jest regarding the zombie apocalypse to be prepared for the apocalypse but I guess since there are actually people out there that still believe in Elvis sightings and UFOs they had to make an official statement.
I hate zombies. I hate the fascination. Why would you want to pretend you are dead, rancid smelling, and have no life? I’d rather dress up like Strawberry Shortcake or Yoko Ono.
Zombie America: The land of the dead and the home of the depraved.
*In an instance where it could exist. I would be one of the first to go. I would not survive. I would fall to the feet of the zombies and let them tear me apart limb by limb FYI.